A rant on the state of my job follows. Proceed at your own risk.
Well, we had a budget workshop today at the Fellowship Hall, and the future of an R.E. program looks grim. Families were scarce on the ground to begin with, and the continued turmoil serves only to put them onto the Endangered Species list. Who wants to hang around here?
This is a retirement community population, and there is a small but vocal section of the church that seems to be fine running the church on a cruise ship mentality (i.e., this is a pleasant place to wait to die.) The continued polite infighting which led to the resignation of the Minister has soured many of the former proponents of having kids and young people (i.e. under 50) in the Fellowship into leaving.
This means lower and fewer pledges. No one wants to commit to something they feel is not secure. I cut my operating budget by about 45%; there is no contract minister, and still there is not enough in the budget to fund and promote a program. People have argued themselves out of a growing church into one that is shrinking and becoming bitter.
There is another UU church, vibrant and growing, about forty minutes farther away. I might wind up going there, since without an R.E. program for my daughter, the local Fellowship has little to offer.
Still, we’ll see. There is one more month to go before a formal budget is proposed. It is possible that pledges could come up. I am willing to run a program, even at the barest-bones level. I’m not really even mad at the folks who want to cut the program entirely;I understand the realities of money. It all comes down to a lack of vision. The church does not have a unified understanding of their goals. Until that is resolved, they will continue to shrink and splinter.
I used to think that Vision Statements were a bunch of jargon-y doubletalk. Now I can see how the lack of one is killing an important part of my life.
This may not pertain to your situation, if so, I apologize in advance.
The problem sounds like it isn’t a lack of vision but a cultural one as well. I grew up evangelical, and in the church I was with I didn’t find folks who were interested in learning and growing in their faith but rather, treating Sunday morning congregation as a sort of social club with religious overtones; people who’s notion of a good time is listening to dreary, lifless tones of marinatha, who’s idea of edification is milquetoast in some cases trussed up as a self help seminar. I don’t mean to be unkind, as people cant help being people, but my relationship was one I felt I had to terminate from frustration.
I find your loyalty genuinely admirable, no relationship can grow if one isn’t willing to work on it. That said, I keep thinking of your girl; right now it sounds as though you’re in a congregation that has reached equilibrium and as such is well within its comfort zone, and if the average age is old enough, then I suspect that they are all either to hardened and bullish to accept anything that smells of change or too soft and boorish to care. If you have another church you can go to get fed, where your daughter can learn, grow, explore, ask questions to informed elders and become strong in her faith, then that would be of greater benefit than being somewhere that is well intentioned but may be too given over to their ways.
I suspect some of this will be controlled for as you are raising her and can equip her outside of or regardless of what that particular church can provide, that you teach the stuff is evidence of this. Still, it cant hurt to have support from your church community as well.
Please take this for its worth, but fiances aside, it may be time to move on.
On a lighter note, if you do decide to go the extra 45mins, you can use that time for meditation, fellowship with your family, or even listen to a podcast.
I think your analysis is pretty spot on. I’ve gone through several crises of self-image over this, but my wife has been a rock of stability, assuring me that moving on is the right decision.
The Board met and approved an R.E. plan that I do not feel will result in a quality program. Regretfully, I am going to decline involvement.